WHAT I LEARNT WHEN FACEBOOK DITCHED ME!

Don’t worry, not a philosophical post on why you should be unplugging – will do that later.

Recently, something went wrong with my laptop and nothing helped - kicking it, banging my fists on the keyboard, restarting a million times, cursing it, cursing myself on not being more technologically savvy, snapping at my mom, tapping fingers real hard and banging the lid shut – trust me, nothing worked.

I had to do everything on my mobile, no matter how huge they make the screens, the buttons are real small and it gets real tough to navigate. They should really think about attaching a life size keyboard to mobiles.

Ok, coming back, how was I to keep up with Facebook… that was the true question. That is where my 500 friends live! How do I know every single detail about where they are, what they are doing, how do I “like” everything they do, “comment” on everything they say and what if they need me. I mean like really need me, ya okay, my mobile is there, but what if there is a network problem and they can’t reach me; they might just probably update “Kidnapped…help me!” Then what… Panic, panic, panic!

So it took me fifteen days to get back to Facebook, yes, they are planning to feature me on some show talk show to inspire people. 

Logging in after 15 days, sighing with relief and all excited about sneaking into my friends’ wall I learnt some things:

1.       My friends were doing fine without me on Facebook. Apparently, everyone’s too busy with life goals to notice a person is missing.

2.       If someone does notice you “missing” they will call up to say this “You okay, haven’t seen you active on FB for the past 5 hours… seriously, everything okay your end?”

3.       If they are getting kidnapped, they are considering Police before Facebook. Apparently, the police are quicker is responding than the Facebook buddies.

4.       If they are getting married / engaged then they prefer to give you a call before creating the event and changing their relationship status. If they aren’t calling you up and have created the event, simple, they don’t want you there.

Hmmm… wasn’t such a big deal after all. But I am just as addicted to Facebook and will just panic the next time my laptop plans to take a break!

So over to you. Addicted to Facebook? Check your mail every 15 minutes? Did you panic when your laptop “broke”? Are your friends doing fine without you?  Or just about anything, any friend’s wedding you not invited to?

P.S. In no way am I criticizing Facebook, I can still be found there every 15 minutes. 

Weird Weight Loss Techniques!

Now who doesn’t deal with weight problem, or hasn’t dealt with it like ever. If you are the one with “high metabolism”, “I eat everything, but I have don’t put on weight” stop saying it like it is a bad thing. It is a boon; ask us heavy people, we put on weight every time we breathe.


Now every time I am supposed to get on the scale, I have this sudden surge of Blood Pressure. So what works? How does one lose weight? Though you could find a million tips on doing that, here my personal favorites. Though they might be the direct ways of losing weight, they sure will get you up and going:


1. HIRE A CRAZY DOG: Now don’t worry, dogs are wonderful but every time you plan to jog and are feeling lazy, hire a huge fellow (Dog I mean!) and make him bark and chase you across the street. And yes, pay him in advance for a couple of rounds!

2. JENNIFER LOPEZ POSTERS: Yes, boys have them for totally different reasons, but put them up all around you for motivation!


3. FULL LENGTH MIRRORS: Have them fixed all over your house. One look at them will keep you squatting and doing pushups for an hour at least!


4. IMAGINE THE WORST: Every time you reach for a bag of chips, think dark circles, hair fall, acne, pimples, and love handles. If it doesn’t get you running, it might help in putting back the bag of chips and picking up an apple instead.


5. MEDICAL BILLS: Estimate the cost of fighting obesity, diabetes, high cholesterol, heart problems and maybe even liposuction. Yes, it is over a five digit number. Maybe more!


So there you go, probably won’t get you losing oodles of weight but will get you running and going for some time at least!


P.S For more serious stuff on weight loss and health care, do check out these amazing ladies: Maureen of Making it All Fit, she does have the best to “make it fit” and Melissa Austin from Bye Bye Fat Girl; love the way she overcomes her challenges and added bonus: she is a personal trainer and the wonderful Carrie Tucker at Heart Failure Solutions.


Have you tried weird, fun ways to lose weight? I would love to hear them and whether they worked or didn’t. Kvetch!

RENTING TROUBLE!

Some time back Samantha Bangayan, blogged about “Apartment Gossip”. Now, I have had the “privilege” of renting an apartment for a year when I was working/ studying in a new city. So there is this system which helps you rent an apartment with a family. It is called being a “Paying Guest” or PG for the shorter, more commonly used lingo. So when you are being a PG, you are given a well furnished room / rooms as per requirement and you have the privacy of space by having separate entry/exists.

Now what I didn’t know was that I was in for a lot of trouble which, surprisingly, wasn’t a part of the contract. I mean if you had to give me a hard time, you should have told me so; I would be prepared for the fight. Unpredictable danger always elicits more panic than predictable danger: that is a lesson from psychology!

So as for my being the PG, I was renting a house with a lady who promised me the time of my life. And that, I did. I had to share the room with two other girls, no privacy whatsoever. Every action of mine was being scrutinized by the “other paying guests”. I couldn’t talk or laugh loudly on the phone or otherwise because the lady was sick, sleeping, being disturbed or simply annoyed by my laugh.

I couldn’t listen to music because my taste is music was too loud and wacky; apparently my taste in music is too hurting for the “normal ear”. My flip flops made the splatter sound too loudly. My sleeping hours were too long for normal people. She was worried I had “un-insomnia” (Hypersomnia for the sophisticated ones of you reading this!). Now, I when I write this, I wonder, how did she know how long I slept?

And slowly and suddenly, I was dragged into the apartment gossip! The couple from the 5^th floor was having a baby…why hadn’t they informed us, the strangers before, I mean she was already in her fourth week…four weeks and no information? The old man from the top floor was having a hard time with his finances. Is that why he was acting so stingy lately…. I mean, we would have definitely helped him if he had told us, now what’s wrong with telling everyone you’re broke? The lady from down the hall is having an affair with that “awful” man. She should have asked us before making her personal decisions.

Every month a week before the “due date” of my monthly payment, I was reminded, not politely that “you have to pay remember, you aren’t staying here for free” Yes, I do. I have always paid on time, now why the need for the monthly drama. “Oh, I am a poor old lady, you might just run away” Oh no, I can’t you have my phone numbers, copies of my identity card, my voter card, one call to the police and you might have me behind bars the next day, what gives you the idea I might run away without settling my dues!

How long did I undergo the ordeal of “having the time of my life”… seven months to be precise and yes, the farewell was just as nasty. I had to pay for the next month’s stay because I had supposedly taken a day extra to move out my stuff, even though I was physically not there and I had two bags left. My luggage had occupied a month’s stay. I have never called her back…some things are better left in the past!

You have had trouble of renting from someone so bad? Or are you the nasty landlady / landlord?