What do they REALLY mean?

I am tired of people not telling the truth – Ok, I get all the controversial stuff but every day ambiguous sentences are getting a little tiresome. I mean I wouldn’t call those people liars, maybe the diplomacy, guilt factor and nagging moms keep coming in the way and they are just “forced” to say things they don’t mean.

So over the past few months, I have been getting a lot of these and experiences just tell me what they mean.

·         I am busy, I will call you back: At many times, rightly translated it reads as follows “I didn’t know it was you calling, otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered taking the call. Hang up right now, I am going to save your number as “Don’t pick up or bother to call back”.

·         You are perfect for the job, we will get in touch soon:  Ok, we didn’t hear what you had to say, we don’t know whether we have positions available, my coffee is getting cold, hmmm…what should I have for lunch, didn’t I tell the darn secretary to call me with “something important” five minutes into this “interview”, wait what was this chap’s name.

·         I am on my way, just five more minutes: It will take me over an hour, I still haven’t changed, I completely forgot and stop calling me every five minutes because that’s not going to change things.

·         Just 5 more minutes with the TV: Coming from a 5 year old it definitely means this “Please, just stop nagging me; I am going to be saying the same thing for the next hour, stop worrying about my eyes and just please, oh please, stop blocking my view”. Coming from a 20 year old also, it probably means the same.

·         Everything looks so pretty on you, I can’t choose:  I haven’t being paying attention, why do you make me go through this, what time was the game on TV, 6 or 8…should I message someone, are you going to be buying matching shoes after this…I hope not, just pick one already!

Please if you are late, just tell me so. I might just go back to napping. If you don’t want to give me the job, just tell me, I will stop jumping every time my mobile rings hoping it is the job confirmation. Just say it nicely, there is a nice way to say bad things… except for when you want to talk about my weight, there is no nice way to say that!

So have you had enough of sugar coatings? What do you think they really mean?